


A Halfway Decent Proposal

by misura



Category: Faerie Wars - Herbie Brennan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-17
Updated: 2011-12-17
Packaged: 2017-10-27 22:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/300628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wherein Pyrgus has a plan and also kittens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Halfway Decent Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iphianassa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iphianassa/gifts).



> written as a treat, based on your letter only, recipient, which means that I've only read just now that Nymph is not a character you particularly care for. (oops.) my sincerest apologies for the disappointment!

In Pyrgus's experience, most women liked cute animals. It had therefore seemed logical to assume that when Nymph spotted him with a bundle of kittens, she might, if not _like_ him, then at least look upon him favorably. Warmly, even, although Pyrgus didn't want to get his hopes up too much.

There had been a few ... incidents, recently, and while none of them had involved kittens or other sorts of animals coming to any harm, Pyrgus had been given to understand (by Mr. Fogarty, who was, after all, very old and so probably knew something about these things) that when the woman you were pretty sure you liked better than any other woman heard you'd been keeping company with a woman you didn't like even half as much as you liked _her_ , she might take it the wrong way.

Pyrgus didn't really understand why that would be, but there it was. He _had_ been visiting some very lovely ladies, and while none of them even came _close_ to Nymph, that didn't mean they weren't fun. Just because you liked nants, that didn't mean you couldn't enjoy some bubble smoke, too, on occasion.

And so he'd gone off in search of some kittens in need of rescuing. He supposed he could have simply gotten some from the Royal Animal Shelter, but that would have felt like cheating and besides, it wouldn't exactly have made much of a story to impress Nymph with. He could just imagine that conversation:

 _"Where'd you get those kittens, Prince Pyrgus?"_

 _"Oh, I asked the Royal Animal Shelter's First Assistant to pick them out for me."_

Hopeless.

 _"Where'd you get those kittens, Prince Pyrgus?"_

 _"These? Oh, just saved them from a fate worse than death."_

Much better. Not that she'd be _impressed_ , of course, but she might be - well, maybe just a little bit.

It hadn't been easy to locate a litter of kittens in need of rescuing, alas. In fact, it had been downright _hard_ \- ever since Pyrgus had gotten Blue to officially give him the duty to oversee the wellfare of all animals of the Realm, there had been fewer and fewer instances of animals being maltreated by their owners. That was a wonderful thing, of course; Prygus was immensely proud he'd accomplished that much simply by coming down hard on maybe a dozen of the worst offenders, but for the purpose of gathering an armful of saved kittens, it was somewhat inconvenient.

He'd managed though, in the end. He'd even figured out the exact time and place to 'accidentally' run into Nymph, on her way to weapons training. Really, everything had been going precisely according to plan, until that one question.

"If you saved these kittens from being overfed, why are you taking them to the kitchens to feed them?"

 

"Because he's an idiot," Blue said, scowling.

"My deeah," Madame Cardui soothed. "Don't you think you're being a bit hard on the poor boy? I can very well imagine he must have been feeling a bit awkward. Why don't you give it some time? Who knows, in another few years, the situation may look quite differently."

"I don't _want_ to wait another few years." Blue knew how she felt about Henry, and she knew that he loved her, too. Well, she knew that he was attracted to her, which wasn't quite the same, really. Boys were attracted to lots of girls - just look at the way Pyrgus was behaving. "What if he meets someone else in the Analogue World? What if _that_ 's why he wouldn't say yes?"

"Don't be silly." Madame Cardui had a voice used to command. It worked on Blue, too, even if technically, she supposed she should be the one giving orders to Madame Cardui - which she did, sometimes, even if they usually came out sounding more like requests. "The boy is crazy about you."

"But - " Blue started, closing her mouth when Madame Cardui raised her hand in a silencing gesture.

"No more, deeah. Work to be getting on with."

Blue sighed and decided that for all that she'd spent quite a bit of time dressed as one, she'd never understand boys.

 

Pyrgus sighed and decided that for all that he'd spent quite a bit of time around them, he'd never understand girls. Or maybe that should be girl, singular, all things considered.

He was doing everything by the book. Whenever he wondered if something would work, he tried it with another girl, first. It only seemed practical, really. Logical. Strategically sound. If Nymph knew about it, he was sure she'd approve. Nymph was very practical and logical and strategic.

Of course, if something did work on another girl, he did spend a bit more time with them. Fair was fair, after all.

If something didn't work, usually he just made a quick get-away and hoped the story wouldn't be all over the Realm by the end of the day. He'd learned from his experience with Gela; he hadn't been punched on the nose for nearly two weeks now, which was a new record.

Compared to Blue, he was doing pretty well. The way she'd handled that proposal to Henry - well, Pyrgus didn't like to judge; he hadn't been there, and he had no idea what had happened, exactly, but given that Henry and Blue had seemed like a couple straight out of a storybook, he'd been surprised when Blue'd told him Henry had turned her down.

"Because you know I like Henry," he'd said. "I mean, I know _you_ like Henry," he'd amended, because while he would certainly have expected Blue to share - she was Queen of two Realms, after all; it wasn't as if she'd have all that much time for Henry, and Pyrgus did like Henry, too. "And he likes me - you - _us_ , too. So why would he say no?"

 

"I don't know," Nymph said, which was just about the one thing Prygus _hadn't_ planned for.

"Um," he said, intelligently. "I don't understand?" He knew it was a mistake the moment he'd said it - women liked men who were intelligent, smart and above all confident. Granted, sometimes being confident just got you a sore nose, but that was the risk you had to take.

Nymph looked at him seriously. She really had very lovely eyes, although her ears were lovely, too, and her lips and her nose - Pyrgus would bet nobody in his right mind would ever even _think_ about hitting it. "Well," she said, "I just don't know if you should really be asking _me_? There was Lady Viola, Lady Faiella, Lady Hortensia, Lady Artemis - and that's just the last three weeks. You're a busy man, Prince Pyrgus. I'm just curious."

She'd been checking up on him! Pyrgus decided that meant she had to like him back at least a little. She might even be jealous. Supposedly, that was a good thing, although it didn't really feel that way to Pyrgus. "Well, they were just practice," he said. When in doubt, just be honest, that was the trick.

Actually, his trick had usually been to be _anything but_ honest, but Nymph was special. "Practice." Her tone of voice didn't give even the tiniest hint whether or not his answer had worked.

Pyrgus tried to take a few steps back without looking as if he were doing so. Nymph was a trained warrior, after all; she probably hit pretty hard. "Yes, practice. That's right."

Nymph kept looking at him for a bit longer, as if she was looking directly into his soul. Perhaps she was; there was still a lot the Forest Faerie kept secret about themselves (as Mr. Fogarty pointed out every now and then, even if Madame Cardui usually pointed out that everyone was entitled to keep a secret or two, so long as they were staunch allies of the Crown). Then she started laughing.

Pyrgus managed not to squirm. Making a woman laugh was good; everyone knew that. Being laughed at, on the other hand ... not so good. He wasn't entirely sure which this was.

Happily, Nymph seemed to notice he was getting a bit uncomfortable, because after only a short while, she stopped laughing and said: "Fine, I'll do it. On one condition."

"Anything," Pyrgus said, mind already racing to figure out what it might be. He didn't think it would be anything too impossible; Blue still didn't like Nymph very much, but the Forest Faerie had a strong and quite vocal supporter in Madame Cardui.

"No more practicing," Nymph said. "Unless it's with me," she added.


End file.
